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I don’t know if this process just got easier or harder.
Money sucks. I just wanna create. Everyone is asking for dollars now that they know I have them but the budget is maxed out and I am starting to go out of pocket.
Ugh. It also feels like an unclimbable mountain. I guess the only thing to do is just pull out a calculator and starting chipping away at this once I figure out where to start. I guess that is where I start…
I swear, bro. Just give me the rock and watch.
All I need is that point of contact and a green light and the Think Tank will knock your socks off. Call it “ambitious” if you want, because it is. But believe it or not just green light it and let me go because I’m not that interested in you saying that the way we say it will happen is impossible.
I feel like if this August show sells, I will be creating the best art shows and parties in all of Los Angeles within two years.
With the help of collaborators of course; and those collaborators are going to blow my mind even more than the geniuses I get to know now.
I feel like one thing at which I have been very bad, and which I have learned only recently that I need to change, has been my differentiation between the concepts of ideas and ideologies.
Ideas should be challenged over and over again. Ideologies should be challenged, but more in the constant challenges of the ideas that build them. People that do too many drugs without a healthy relationship with them, for example, challenge their ideologies so often that they don’t have the time to act on their ideas, much less challenge them well enough to produce something worthwhile.
I like to have my ideas challenged. When I finish an art piece, project of any kind, or develop a new thought, I always ask my friends and those whose opinions I most respect what sucks most about it. Eventually I get around to what they like about it, but much more valuable is the things that irk them, so I can find out how to better build my bridge between my audience and my original ideas. Thinking of my ideas and acting them out is easy - they’re in my head already and I can just express them. Getting them to connect and making sure my message is as pure or effective as possible is the hard part.
What I have noticed has negatively affected my life has been the constant challenging of my ideologies. Yes, I should challenge these as well from time to time. I don’t want to grow close-minded, stagnant, or behind-the-times, especially not in my field. But when I hang out with people that do a lot of mushrooms, acid, or other self-reflective drug, I find myself engaged in a lot of conversations about how things should be, with a lot less time to actually try to make them that way. And if I find myself losing that time just for talking to them, I can only imagine the lack of efficiency and productivity that plagues their lives. Some people do these drugs well and get a lot done in spite or even because of it; but at some point, you have to just trust yourself and go for it, if for no other reason than that there’s not enough time to live a life of daily reframing ideologies.
I used to think surrounding yourself with people of similar ideology was less just, righteous, and courageous than surrounding yourself with those who would challenge or outright disagree in that regard. I now think that you should have a couple such folks around, but mainly have people that agree on a general strategy for navigation and disagree on many, many points in the tactics of such a trip through life and through art, and are willing to be vocal and pure about these disagreements.
Man, the new updates for Vine, Twitter, and Instagram are on point. Technology takeover. Developers are really figurin out how to appease consumers. It’s a crazy Age of Enlightenment and Connectivity.
I keep telling myself, and others, that I will be a much funner guy on the other side of this mountain. I hope two things:
1. I make it that far.
2. I remember how to have fun once I get there.
I am hopeful I will achieve my goals with these hopes realized!
It’s easy to ignore a hater’s insistence that you can’t do something and just go for it anyway. It’s almost more fuel for the fire. It’s a completely different story to try something anyway when it’s a friend you trust that’s telling you this is too much for you or that it’s impossible. Then it takes an immense sense of self-confidence, bordering arrogance.
You have to just know you’re right, and challenge that belief every chance you get, to prove it.
My answer was that, to be honest, I feel like I was a complete tool on the internet and I was embarrassed at how foolish I had become. I had to take a step back and realize that what I was working toward was irrelevant and superficial and there were more important things to be done. I had to separate myself from my ignorant public image for a while. I will resurface at some point if I feel my work worthy of people’s valuable attention. Right now the only thing I am doing worth noticing is my work at my day job at the Think Tank.
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